WEST SEATTLE, Washington, November 02, 2009 (WSFB) – Western Washington weather is expected to change from relatively decent through Wednesday to wet and shitty on Thursday thanks to a blogpressure system moving in off the coast of Fatmanistan.

If you haven’t already done so, now is the time to visit your local clothing and accessories retailer to purchase a pair of gloves and a nice umbrella. Both accouterments are a necessary addition to your pre-winter wardrobe.

The WSFB recommends narwhal fur laced calf skin gloves. Long known for their pliability and water resistance, these gloves keep your hands dry and warm while simultaneously supporting the efforts of indigenous narwhal hunters located off the coast of West Seattle.

The penguin skin umbrella is another must have item. With the stem and spine made of authentic baby seal bones and the handle a hand-carved narhwal tusk, no two are alike.

Remember to shop locally and think locally as the weather begins to turn shitty!