Myra Manes takes a pounding and likes it!

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, April 19, 2010 (WSFB) – This Friday night marks the return of Amateur Co-ed Wrestling (ACW) to the West Seattle Pavilion (WSP). In its hey-day last August (IIHLA), this event drew tens of people out of the safety of their homes and into the “PIT OF DOOM“.

All participants are chosen by lottery from the pool of at least six that sign up prior to the event. There is no benefit of the financial persuasion, just the satisfaction of beating the living snot out of the opposite sex.

One might think the ladies would be at a distinct disadvantage, but not so says one contestant of the (disputably) gentler sex.

Said Myra Manes, “Seazle, if you think for a second I’mma give you a quote that makes me look brutish, I’mma throw your ass over the top rope, right into that ring, and make you cry for your mama. You’ll be wishin’ for the days when you were swaddled in your blanky suckin’ that teet. Now tell me I’m a lady before I grab your sack and pull it over your head!”

The event is not without its detractors. Says Evelyn Wood, president of the local Females Insisting on Sane Tactics chapter (FIST), “This is a simple matter of promoting domestic violence. Dickhead won’t take out the trash? Grab his balls. Bitch won’t dance for you on the table while you eat your chicken pot pie? Pile drive her. It’s barbaric.”

“If I hear ‘I said the white panties!’ one more time,” finished Wood, “I’mma hafta cut a bitch.”

Safety is a major concern of the events promoter. Said Kevin Johnson, “We’re watching closely for foul play and injuries. If it happens, I’m sitting right there in the front row eating popcorn and seeing it. We take the safety of our participants very seriously.”

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com