Beer Cart!!!
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 13, 2010 (WSFB) – Ahhhh, golfing. Nothing like hitting the links on a crisp spring day, putting the face of your club squarely on the ball, and watching it fade into a glorious morning, straight and true.
But don’t be misinformed. Golf comes with its dangers.
Golf balls are very hard and move very fast when struck properly. When NOT struck properly, golf balls are very hard and move very fast, but are more likely to smack you in the head. Always be aware of the skill level of the players around you. This includes those on parallel holes. When in doubt, wear your helmet.
The ball washer, while enticingly named, is strictly for use on GOLF balls. Any other use would be ill-advised and may result in bodily injury.
As funny as they may seem to you, some golf terms have been used in humorous ways since long before you grabbed your sticks. Old timers might become annoyed by your attempt at golf lingo “funny”. To prevent a putter blow to the head, do not use the following words in a sexual way: head, shaft, ball, hole, pitching wedge.
The Beer Cart Girl is usually quite attractive and thus, distracting to those earmarked with driving duties. Be wary of unnecessary stopping, swerving, weaving, and detour-taking if you’re not behind the wheel.
There’s also the content of the Beer Cart. Not just the sweet little ass driving it, but what the sweet little ass is driving it for: to deliver you cold, refreshing, over-priced beer!
Golf and beer and synonymous. Most people don’t actually enjoy golf, but the more liquored up you get, the more fun it becomes. So load up on cold ones and be sure to tip the Beer Cart girl well. You’ll need her to find you again well before you hit the back nine.
Sometimes a golf ball will be hit outside of the fairway. If you’re lucky, you’re only in the rough. However, you may find yourself in the woods, hacking your way through the underbrush in search of “your fucking ball“. This scenario presents its own dangers.
Everyone knows that crazy shit happens in the woods. People get murdered wild animals attack. Much like highway rest areas, the woods along golf courses have become known for their “bathhouse” qualities. Be on the lookout for strange men and/or soiled condoms. Don’t touch either of them. Just smoke your bowl, find your ball, and get back to the safety of the fairway.
And find the Beer Cart.
Pete@westseattlefunblog.com
