WINDERMERE, Florida, December 03, 2009 (WSFB) – Guest contributor, Lorena Bobbit, made famous for severing the penis of husband John Wayne Bobbitt in 1993, approached the West Seattle Funblog and offered to interview her close friend and neighbor, Elin Nordegren. We graciously accepted her offer.
Nordegren is known for her own work as a famous Scandinavian model as well as being the wife of Tiger Woods. She has been in the news of late due to speculation that Tiger’s early morning one-car accident and subsequent golf-club rescue was in fact an act of rage over Tiger’s improprieties and affair with a cocktail waitress.
The following excerpt is from an interview conducted at a Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs in Orlando, Florida.
Lorena Bobbitt: Thank you very much for meeting with me and agreeing to clear the air in an exclusive WSFB interview.
Elin Nordegren: Of course, Lorena. We’re sisters now.
LB: So, explain that statement please. How are we sisters?
EN: You and me. Men. Infidelity. Unpunished violence. You got a 45-day mental evaluation and no jail time for chopping off your husband’s wiener. I’m not accused of anything either. You’re actually an inspiration to me, dear.
LB: How’s that?
EN: Your husband flaunted his affairs and you took action! Tiger didn’t exactly flaunt it, but due to his fame and stature, the National Enquirer flaunted it for him. Flaunting is flaunting and it made me feel inadequate and enraged!
LB: You’re a beautiful woman. You could have had a tryst or two yourself, right?
EN: Of course. Maybe I have, and maybe I haven’t. But the goddamn National Enquirer isn’t writing about my wiener.
LB: Yes, wiener…. (long contemplative pause)
EN: Uhhhhh, Lorena? Over here, hon.
LB: Yes, wieners. Delicious. Are you afraid that this incident will make you a laughingstock, the subject of jokes and such? Surely, it’s already started.
EN: I don’t think I want to answer that question. The jokes are a private matter for the public to forward via email amongst themselves, much like this entire incident is a family matter for the Woods family.
LB: Let me phrase it this way. Have you heard any good Tiger-Elin golf club jokes? We’d love to hear one.
EN: I have a joke for you. These two guys are driving down the highway and happen to be tailgating YOU at the exact moment you toss John’s wiener out the window. Smack! Right into their windshield! The first guy turns to the second guy and says, “Damn! Did you see the size of the dick on that bug?” HA!
LB: That’s not nice, Elin. This interview is supposed to be about you.
EN: Yeah? Well, you can tell your little wiener funblog this interview is OVER!
Pete@westseattlefunblog.com
Nice picture! You obviously have a leg up on the paparazzi. That club looks like a 1-iron.
Way to get an exclusive! And who knew Elin had such a great sense of humor. I’m going to tell that joke to your mom tonight.