"Hot American Female With Gun" - courtesy of Arne Jesperstaad

SEATAC, Washington, September 08, 2010 (WSFB) – Through a joint venture between the West Seattle Funblog and the TSA, the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport has become the first U.S. airport to actually sell the images it collects from routine passenger security scans.

Said Kevin Johnson of TSA, “We get some good stuff with our nude scanners. You think that thong of yours is showin’ off your goodness at the beach? You like the attention your mini mini skirt gets you? Well our scanners don’t pick up your trashy attire, they just blow right through it. Nice onion, by the way.”

Arne Jesperstaad is local collector.

“The print shown here cost me $375,” said Jesperstaad. “But of course the oak-framed and SeaTac-numbered print I bought through the West Seattle Funblog Merchandising Division was worth it. This picture captures the essence of its title: Hot American Female With Gun. TSA sees thousands of these nationwide every day, and the Funblog immediately recognized the quality present in their work.”

“I remember that piece,” said and unidentified Funblog spokesperson. “It was a Glock and she was in fact quite hot. The TSA boys figured out that you could run a negative of a negative and get free porn. From then on, security kinda laxed, greed kicked in, and your West Seattle Funblog requested and acquired exclusive merchandising rights for all SeaTac-generated nude scans.”

Continued the Funblog mouthpiece, “We offer free advertising to West Seattle establishments. We were generating zero revenue prior to this joint venture. Apparently dick jokes don’t pay the bills.”

“Please be assured that most of the proceeds from our sales will remain in West Seattle via walnut bourbon purchases at the Feedback,” he continued. “The balance will be distributed amongst Big Al’s, the Skylark, Mission and, fingers crossed, hopefully a Dick’s Hamburgers.”

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com