WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 27, 2009 (WSFB) – The WSFB would like to welcome our newest sponsor – Your Mom – to the growing list of sponsors.

Your Mom gave you life and took care of you growing up. Your Mom made sure you were fed and clothed and loved even when you were the fattest most awkward kid in school and routinely missed the bus because you couldn’t walk as fast as the leaner athletic kids.

Your Mom stood up for you when you were bullied in high school and even went so far as to talk to the other kids’ parents who later were so frustrated with Your Mom’s rude behavior that they sanctioned their continued bullying of you.

Your Mom later learned that you’d been so badly scarred by your experience with other kids that she felt like she hadn’t done enough and eventually went insane, later being committed to an asylum for crazy moms.

Your Mom tried, but she is only human. Show Your Mom some support, you ungrateful swine of a child.