WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 27, 2009 (WSFB) – The White Center RIGHTNOW resistance movement has struck their first blow against their aggressive annex-happy neighbor to the south, Burien, by knocking a power substation offline and affecting more than 4,000 would be invaders.

Earlier this afternoon after the Burien One World Council announced they’d come to a unanimous decision to destroy White Center and begin anew, guerrillas from White Center RIGHTNOW detonated four improvised electronic devices assembled from old sex toys and auto parts at the substation near Seola Beach, effectively cutting off the forward patrols of the Burien Navy expected to land later this evening to begin ethnic cleansing.

Admiral Tui Muisasasopo of the Burien Naval Command could not be reached for comment. More details as they come available.

UPDATE 4:30PM: The number of affected White Centaurians has been increased to 7,100.