WEST SEATTLE, Washington, September 03, 2009 (WSFB) – There’s a new development in the recent string of home robberies in West Seattle; a photo of one of the alleged perpetrators caught in the act! While this new evidence should help WSPD in their ongoing investigation of these heinous crimes, a backlash has begun to smolder against certain minorities. Being Blue is now cause for being blue.
“This is bullshit,” said a member of the Blue Man Group, who lives in High Point. “We can’t even go out to lunch without people skirting us, or ostracizing us, or worse. How’s a Blue man supposed to have a decent blue plate special with such stereotypical racism happening right here in West Seattle? It’s as if just because you’re Blue, you must have a nine stickin’ outta your side.”
When asked to site an example of said “Blue Racism”, he replied, “A Blue Man can’t even get a table at the Blue Nile. Where else am I supposed to get Ethiopian food? You think an African-American man would be treated like… okay, bad example.”
True to form in their effort to fight crime, WSPD now has an unwritten writ to racially profile. This reporter happened to be at the Blue Willow Luncheonette having a Blue Cheese Wedge Salad when two of Seattle’s finest, ironically driving a blue car, came in and sat nearby. SPD’s suspect list for these crimes was the topic of discussion, overheard and jotted. Included therein:
- The Blue Man Group
- Any and all Smurfs
- That Blue Alien Chick from Star Trek
- Members of www.gayboy.at, who wear blue body paint and “fancy some meat”
- Vida Blue, pitching great for the Oakland A’s
- “Blue” from Old School
When told about the suspect list, Admiral resident Papa Smurf said “You want some of this, copper? I’m 3 foot 2. Keep poppin’ off and I’ll show you some blue BALLS! They’re right there, danglin’ right in front of my face! I’mma punch you right in the dick!”
On a personal note, this reporter must say that having to write an article about such blatant racism sucked. In fact, it totally blew.
Pete@westseattlefunblog.com
