WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 24, 2010 (WSFB) – With the recent report that Funblog Blogfather Luigi Linguini has been abducted by Al-Qaeda, the West Seattle Funblog has begun an effort to drink ourselves into a state of attack that will eventually lead to the rescue of Luigi.

In the meantime the League of Funbloggers, the secret society that controls everything that happens in West Seattle, has begun planning a three point effort aimed at ensuring Funblog’s are never a victim of un-fun terror tactics on their own soil again.  The Funblog feels comfortable posting our plan online since only one guy in Afghanistan actually owns a computer, and he’s just really into World of Warcraft.

1.  Continue practicing unparalleled funmanship in and around West Seattle.  Terrorists hate funmanship, especially because it doesn’t involve strapping bombs to oneself in order to escape living in a crappy society.  Funmanship leads to spending money in the community, which leads to community businesses surviving, which leads to a big middle finger pointed toward terrorists that hate America and a free market economy.  Have you ever heard of the Jalalabad Funblog?  Exactly.

2. Funblog it.  Let’s get honest here, we don’t have thousands of unique visitors to the site every day, in fact we’re lucky to get five.  We provide 100% free advertising to some local businesses that we actually visit on a consistent basis.  We got rid of our forums because we really got tired of the moot topics and silly arguments that were discussed.  The truth is we started the Funblog for fun, to provide ourselves an avenue to voice opinions and attitudes that other blogs in this town chose to censor.  As you can probably guess, terrorists absolutely cannot stand the voice of reason, or funblogs.  Look for mildly funny funblog postings to continue showing up on this page from time to time.  We hope you enjoy them because this blog is for you and for Captain America.

3.  Funblog predator drones.  Not only will we be able to use the Funblog Predator Drone for finding Luigi but we will also be able to survey all of West Seattle for funmanship and showering lesbians, the two true pillars of society.  We might even be able to figure out what that weird “Hum” in West Seattle is all about…..