WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 24, 2009 (WSFB) – A City of Seattle Metro bus missed its mark on Friday Night causing quite the commotion in the mass-transit monitoring realm.   The bus originated in White Center with a scheduled stop at Admiral and California.   When the bus failed to show up at this location, alarms were triggered at the Seattle Metro Urban Tracking office (SMUT).

Said SMUT Master, Jurgen Kierkke, “This is a highly unusual event.   Buses just don’t go off the grid like this.   We’ve deployed several SMUT units, both vehicular and airborne, to assist in locating the missing bus.   SMUT will not rest until this crisis comes to a quivering, toe-curling conclusion.   Only then will SMUT have a cigarette.”

After 88 minutes of radio silence, Kierkke was able to raise the bus driver via an outdated Ham Radio found in a closet.   The bus was in Bremerton, a full 12 miles across Puget Sound, with all aboard safe and accounted for.

“The driver claims that he was neither sleeping nor arguing with himself at any point during this event,” says Kierkke.   “He  does have a history of first-person argument, but it’s been deemed a function of his multiple personality disorder.  This was aknowledged by Human Resources and he was cleared to resume his driving duties.   All are safe and back from Bremerton, so as far as SMUT is concerned, this event is over.   This was definitely not a hoax.”

Said passenger Dave Blank, “This was weird, man.   First off, I don’t know what the hell I was even doing in White Center.  Then to find myself in Bremerton?   That place is for the birds, dude.   I completely missed a fun evening at the Yen Wor because of some J-hole with a Class C driver’s license.   The C must stand for c…”

Thanks, Dave.   That will be all.

Said Kierkke, gently exhaling smoke from his Kool Menthol, “We’re still not sure how the bus got to Bremerton within that time frame.   It couldn’t have feasibly driven around through Tacoma unless it was going 180 mph, which should have alerted State Troopers.   We speculate that the bus either took the ferry from downtown, which also should have been noticed, or is amphibious.   The latter is the most likely explanation.”

Representatives of the amphibious Seattle Duck Tour Company could not be reached for comment on possible competition by the City of Seattle itself.