WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 04, 2010 (WSFB) – Yep, it’s summer in West Seattle and the clothing is getting skimpy. Folks are trying to stay cool however possible. And that includes some slightly unorthodox methods.
Jillian BaBar of Admiral is unorthodox.
“The armpit is where most of the body’s high temperature lives, hence all of the perspiration,” said BaBar. “The body sweats to cool itself and that glorious coolant is just slipping away, creating stains on your shirts.”
The Solution? Mass quantities of armpit hair.
BaBar is at the forefront of a movement on the West Side that seeks to chill as well as redefine sexy. She not only doesn’t shave her pits, she brushes them and occasionally adds braids and beads.
“This is the most effective manner to stay as cool as I am,” said BaBar, as she long-stroked her sub-clavicle mane. “In hot weather, you have to wrap yourself in absorbents, to lock all that glorious coolant in. But you don’t have to look like Sasquatch about it. You can accentuate the pittal region and make it hot.”
When wryly informed that making her armpits “hot” would defeat the purpose of her coolant theory, Babar stated, “Oh, this is that fucking satire thing again, isn’t it? You’re just crackin’ wise, right?”
Blank stare.
“It’s really not as gross as it looks, Seazle. I’ve seen your back, you know….”
Pete’s back is officially cool and aroused and anticipating a back-hair manicure….
