WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 22, 2010 (WSFB) – This weekend’s post that the West Seattle Funblog was closing down for maintenance was the work of TERRORISM. That’s right: the bad guys. And it is totally UNTRUE.

Luigi Linguini, our fearless leader, was said to have stated that the Funblog was going down for maintenance, an oil change, and perhaps an enema. And while the latter was likely a given due to recent colonoscopies, we here at the Funblog know it was merely a tactical diversion perpetrated by none other than Al-Qaeda. The NSA has verified these suspicions.

Said Kevin Johnson, Spokes-Douche for NSA: “Linguini has in fact been abducted. This has been confirmed by operatives in the field in Wherever-fuck-istan. When we know more, you’ll know slightly less. That’s all I can give you. But we certainly don’t know where he is or what condition he’s in. They could be really fucking him up, but we just don’t know.”

Linguini was said to have been “cavorting with neutrally-aligned associates, to propagate a creamy-filled Funblog center”, but details of with whom he cavorted are few.

Stay tuned to the West Seattle Funblog for further details and please pray for Luigi.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

UPDATE: 02/23/10 ~ 23:38/: Luigi is confirmed to be in Al Qaeda control and is said to be laughing uncontrollably at electrical interrogation due to the fact that it “kinda tickles.” Bless you, Luigi.  We’re coming….