WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 09, 2010 (WSFB) – This just in, local homeowner files for official “trash princess” status in the Delridge area.  Princess Sheba (as she likes to be known by) stood outside of her house this morning and shouted “garbage bags are for the weak and not for those as awesome as me”.  This princess of trashiness then went on to pull out her trump card, her proof that she deserved this most esteemed title; she raised her right hand in the air and waved her recently dirtied panty liner.  Yes folks, that’s correct, dirty panty liner.  With her voice loud and proud she proclaimed “how dare anyone tell me how I should contain my trash, this is what I think of them” and with that threw the dirtied panty liner onto the parking strip.

Watching the small group that had gathered around this modern day trash princess it was hard to comprehend to looks of shock and awe that were appearing on their faces.  This beaver on the street reporter decided it was time to “take the plunge” and get to the bottom of this.  Princess Sheba refused to be interviewed but said over her shoulder before she entered her home “I am pretty, my cousins back home answer your support calls and my shit doesn’t stink, therefore I have no need to answer your questions”.   After that response you all know it was on, nobody dismisses the Delridge Beaver!

That was it, no more miss nice beaver, the bristles are coming out! I jumped up on the nearest fire hydrant (fresh with gang graffiti) and shouted “if she wants to rule the world of trash let her, show her what this neighborhood thinks of inconsiderate trash throwers!” Next thing you know there were about twenty folks (with very mad faces showing) coming up the sidewalk with buckets of trash.  All the trash was heaped in front of the self proclaimed trash princess’ front door.

Within minutes everyone seemed to wake up as if from a daze and look sheepishly about, soon to go back to their respective homes.  The so called “trash madness” had passed.  This area on Delridge is now safe until the next trash day when the reigning trash princess proves her superiority once again and shares her special mess with the world.

Keep it furry West Seattle (and hygienic!)