WEST SEATTLE, Washington, November 27, 2009 (WSFB) – A local “doctor” has been prescribing walnut bourbon as a cure for what ails you, and has the backing of local indigenous people.

“Walnut boubon has all the primary properties of a natural cure-all; walnuts and bourbon,” explains Dr. Roxxo. “I’m a firm believer in anything that contains something natural and something spirited.”

Local indigenous people couldn’t agree more.

Chief Sipping Bourbon of the Fauntleroy tribe says, “when we start to feel a tickle, we reach for the walnut bourbon.”

Other local tribesmen also agree, with 9 out of 10 of them voting in favor of walnut bourbon over non-prescription over the counter “big pharma” medications.

“You don’t get the Great Spirit inside when you use that stuff,” proclaims Tomahawk Blackfoot. “Great Spirit is what you need to make demons leave, feel better after.”

Where can you find walnut bourbon in West Seattle? Why, the Feedback Lounge of course! That’s where Luigi and the gang will be this evening. Feel free to stop by and say “hello” or “fuck you, you piece of shit” – we’ll be waiting for you.