Arnie Huginkiss: "gobble, gobble, gobble."

AUSTIN, Texas, May 3, 2010 (WSFB-AC) – If success could be measured by a “never give up” attitude and a beaming black smile that somewhat resembles the Penguin from Batman, then Arnie Huginkiss would be the most successful man on the planet.

Most people don’t realize there were originally five members of the world famous heavy metal band Kiss. Arnie, the tambourine player for Kiss, played with the band for approximately one month but was soon let go after the band realized that tambourine players were neither heavy metal, nor hard rock. There was also mention that Arnie resembled a brunette Carol Channing, which was not a look they were going for at the time.

States Arnie, “I feel that I made a significant contribution to the band with my tambourine playing. Unfortunately, tamborinists rarely get the credit they deserve and that is something that we have to adjust to.” Adds Huginkiss, “I also never got any credit for creating the Kiss logo. Who do you think the genius was that turned the S’s into lightning bolts?”

Though deeply depressed and dealing with public ridicule for his funny hair-do, Arnie wandered into an old video arcade one day where his life took on new meaning. A simple game of Pac-Man literally changed his life. Arnie found that he actually preferred to play Mrs. Pac-man and came to the realization that he wanted to become a she.

Jumping into action (the jump looked just like the one Paul Stanley does onstage while pretending to play his guitar), Arnie actually bought the video arcade, made a fortune on the kitschy old vintage machines, and is now using the money to fund his sex change operation. Soon Arnie will be Amanda Huginkiss.

Happier than ever, Arnie can currently be seen with his tender new B-cup breasts and his bright black smile, still playing video games at his arcade….appropriately named “Kiss This”.