WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 14, 2009 (WSFB) – October is not only the month that heralds the beginning of drinking season but also brings open season for local cyclists and pedestrians.

As noted on a local website, you’re likely to be held unaccountable in the event you critically injure or kill a cyclist or pedestrian while operating a motor vehicle based on current state law.

The law is written this way because people on bicycles and on foot are a nuisance species and their population must be kept under control through thoughtful and coordinated vehicular manslaughter.

Here are some suggestions for making keeping your motor vehicle free from scratches and dents while you revel in the thrill of the hunt:

Use your bumper. Late model vehicle bumpers are engineered to absorb and withstand shock from objects that come in contact with them, while resisting scratches and dents through special composite materials and polymer-based coatings. Try using the corner of your bumper to propel the cyclist or pedestrian outward and away from your vehicle.

Attach towing mirrors. These are available for most vehicles, from smaller sedans to larger SUVs and trucks, you’re sure to find these handy accessories. Towing mirrors typically extend out and away from the vehicle giving you greater reach for headshots and sideways knockdowns. While most effective on cyclists, a well-placed drive-by on a pedestrian can also result in a successful take. The best part is towing mirrors are reasonably inexpensive and provide a high rate of return.

Hire day laborers. Human ingenuity can’t be beat when it comes to hunting, and nothing beats the physical output of the contemporary day laborer. Armed with push brooms, mops, baseball bats, or tire irons, the day laborer is certain to bring your limit without you so much as lifting a finger – other than to light that cigarette and tip back the cool refreshing Blogweiser beer. Oh yeah, Blogweiser beer – you know you want it in you.