WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 11, 2010 (WSFB) – The 34DDs are at it again. Last time it was the forum on amazing chest care, this time it’s “let’s tax that ass!”.

Wednesday night, the West Seattle 34DDs got together to discuss the budget shortfalls plaguing West Seattle and their affect on breast expansion in the region.

The first and most obvious solution was to look to the Federal Government for a handout.

“There’s money out there, if you know where to look” exclaims Matthew Lesko, local author and government handout enthusiast. “It’ll make you crazy when you realize how much money is out there for the taking! If you know where to look!”

If the 34DDs manage to qualify for the “Ride To The Top” grant, it is likely that a new sustainable and green organic breast expansion program will be implemented in the greater West Seattle area.

“Let’s face it,” begins local business executive Frank Enfurder, “we’ve got a need for some real meat out there, something you can grab a hold of and squeeze a little, tweak a little – and that need is real and it costs money.”

In addition to pursuing the Federal grant money, the 34DDs are considering an income tax on those residents making more than $9.57 per hour to fund a “Tight Tops for Tops” program that will supply the well-endowed women of West Seattle with form fitting extra small t-shirts and blouses.

Opponents of the tax claim it is “unfair and unnecessary” and “chauvinistic”, while proponents say “it’s about goddamn time someone took titties seriously in this town!”