WEST SEATTLE, Washington, November 16, 2009 (WSFB) – Residents of the Admiral District in West Seattle have “had it up to here” with the lack of precision timing programmed in to the traffic signal located at the intersection of California Boulevard and Admiral Way.

The Seattle Department of Transportation recently incorporated a complex algorithm into this signal in an effort to annoy locals and restore anarchy that once dominated the North Admiral neighborhood.

“We’re using mathematics to systematically fuck with people,” says SDOT director of algorithms Marten Coldt. “There are few things more entertaining than a frustrated North Admiralite completely blasted on cupcakes and coffee.”

However, local residents fail to see the humor in being harassed by such controlling forces.

“They keep tweaking the sequence, but they still haven’t hit the sweet spot,” says local resident A.C. Modjel. “I’m personally frustrated by the absence of consideration by SDOT. Don’t they know that I head westbound on Admiral Way at exactly 7:42AM each morning and expect maximum efficiency and pinpoint timing? When will they realize how important my time is to them?”

SDOT is expected to hold a public hearing where local residents can voice their concerns and provide alternative algorithms for consideration.