WEST SEATTLE, Washington, March 10, 2010 (WSFB) – Penis. What is it good for? Well, we can tell you several things that come to mind, but “absolutely nothin’” and “magazine for young couples with new children” typically do not.
Funstick Enterprises, the makers of “Cock and Bulls” (an agricultural magazine) and “Blowjob” (a publication geared towards hair stylists), seem to be back to their old tricks again. And some local residents who were privy to a preview of the magazine are less than excited.
“It’s nothing but shock value for shock’s sake,” said Ivan Tül, a bagger at Safeway. “I’m sure this is a wonderful, educational magazine that is very helpful for young parents, but you won’t catch me buying it. Their use of implied smut to spawn readership is disgusting. Now, I’m a fan of the funstick; the actual funstick that is, not this parent company you speak of. This is just cheap sensationalism and has nothing about penis in it. This is false advertising and I’m very disappointed I was suckered.”
But opponents of smutty content aren’t the only ones disappointed in the new magazine. Said Jakislav Kuyper, owner and proprietor of Jak’s Adult Stuff Stores, “We don’t cater to Soccer Moms. This magazine isn’t about penis at all. This magazine is to smut what turkey basters are to making children. Sure, there’s a titty or two in there, but they’re all lactating. This goes beyond fetishism and we won’t carry it. Not at Jak’s.”
When asked about the controversy created by the debut of their latest rag, Funstick Spokes-dick Kevin Johnson said, “It’s all a big misunderstanding. As much as I personally like penis, this magazine is in fact called Parents. Due to the economic downturn, we’ve had to cut back on our staff. The graphics department took the worst hit. This cover was actually designed by one of the mailroom guys, Dick Peters. It still says Parents, it’s just a little obscured. We’ve spoken with Mr. Peters about it and he’s very sorry, though he did see a little humor in it. Downright laughed his ass off, he did.”
Pete@westseattlefunblog.com
