Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Word from the bird is saying get rid of the duck-ass, and shoot for the jelly roll, otherwise you need to look into a new hip lid. You fracture me.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
What’s buzzin’ cousin? Feeling like a fream? Don’t be a lame crumb, quit piling up the Z’s. Get up and get chrome plated, and head to the fat city!
Pisces: (Feb 19-Mar 20)
If you’re thinking of painting the town, those nuggets aren’t going to get you very far. You need some real scratch . Do you have enough for a hulahoop?
Aries: (Mar 21-April 19)
Planning some backseat bingo with that classy barn burner in the back of your bent eight? Don’t let the big Daddio find out, he’ll snap his cap!
Taurus: (April 20-May 20)
Leave the ankle-biters at home and agitate the gravel! Get out of your crib for a few days and tear ass. Cut out of town!
Gemini: (May 21-June 20)
Stop noodlin’cat, and quit it with the clams, let‘s work that tune. Hop into your zoot suit, and let’s lay down some hot licks. Razz my berries!
Cancer: (June 21-July 22)
What’s your tale nightingale? Don’t be a wet rag. I suggest a bag of some kick-ass muggles to change your attitude. Catch you on the flip-side.
Leo: (July 23-Aug 22)
Go ape and goose it greaser! Your hopped up hottie is going to attract some heat in no time, so if you’re cruising for a bruisin’, go ahead…lay a patch!
Virgo:(Aug 23-Sept 22)
Be a Bose-bouncing’ cat, get those jitterbugs jumping, and you’ll be a bonafide hipster. Make the scene!
Libra: (Sept 23-Oct 22)
This cat should get out the flip-top, fire it up, and flat out floor it! Go for pinks baby. Heels on fire!
Scorpio: (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Show off that classy chassis of yours, everyone digs a finger zinger, and you’ve got what it takes! Get that sugarband up to speed, and you’ll be waxing a disc in no time flat.
Sagittarius: (Nov 22-Dec 21)
You are definitely radio active this week. Put on those peepers and head to the passion pit. Eyeball those fast dollies, but keep it real.
