HUNTSVILLE, Texas, November 20, 2009 (WSFB) – Antonio Rivera doesn’t want to die.  But his wishes no longer weigh into the reality of his situation. Rivera is on Death Row at the Texas State Penitentiary at Huntsville.

Rivera is scheduled to die by lethal injection at 12:01 on November 24, 2009. If the execution is not stayed by Governor Rick Perry (R), considered highly unlikely by insiders, he will become the 23rd inmate put to death in Texas this year.

Last night marked execution #22 when the Department of Corrections put Danielle Simpson to death for the abduction and murder of an 84-year old woman.

Said Gov. Perry, “Texas has a long-standing tradition of being hard-on criminals. That’s right, hippie-leftist reporters, I said ‘hard-on’.  Now stop giggling. We will continue to hand down stiff…. er …harsh sentences to ensure the protection of the people of Texas.”

In an exclusive interview with the WSFB, Dead Man Walking #23 expressed his final plea for leniency through a credible media outlet, your West Seattle Funblog.

“I understand ‘an eye for an eye’, vato, and I’m all for it.  I have a family, too, and they deserve to be protected from these animals on death row. Hell, I actually know them now and most of them are animals. But this was a fucking jaywalking case, ese.  I crossed the street.  That’s it!”

Said Gov. Perry when questioned about this case, “I understand your concerns, but a line must be drawn in the sand.  We drew lines on the street and Mr. Rivera chose to walk outside of them, demonstrating a clear intent to skirt the boundaries of the law.”

When asked how the death penalty could be justified for such a minor infraction, Perry said, “Let’s just say, hyphen-etically speaking, that Mr. Rivera chose of his own free will to jaywalk and was inadvertently hit by a patrol car. A patrol car on the way to save your mother from a vicious knife-wielding criminal.  This officer now has to attend to Mr. Rivera, wait for an ambulance, and then go back to the station and write a report. Someone has to pay for your mom’s gruesome death and we don’t believe it should be the patrol officer. Thus, Mr. Rivera.”

When asked if in fact it should not be the knife-wielding criminal that should pay for this brutal hyphen-etical crime, Perry took a long pause and said, “Well, sure. We’ll execute him too, eventually. But we have Mr. Rivera RIGHT NOW. And that’s like a bonus.”