AUSTIN, Texas, June 11, 2010 – (AFB) – It can be difficult to keep up with the ever-accelerating rate of technological advancements in the digital age. For an example of this we need look no further than that most common of household appliances – the porn machine. Remember the behemoth mainframe porn machines of the 80’s, or the punch-card porn machines of earlier years? Porn machines today are tiny, and can process staggering quantities of porn at astonishing speeds.

Just when one might think we’ve reached the limits of what porn machines can do, a group of researchers from The University of Texas at Austin are pioneering new frontiers of porn machine capability. A group of students, led by Professor Kevin Johnson, Ph.D., are experimenting with using porn machines for a wide range of new applications. “This research is really out on the cutting edge,” Johnson says. “We have successfully used porn machines to actually write alpha-numeric characters, conduct simple mathematical calculations, and even to store and transmit non-pornographic pictures. It’s truly remarkable. We have even coined a term to describe these non-pornographic uses. We call it ‘computing.’”

Of course there are questions about the practicality and the marketability of non-pornographic uses of porn machines, but the potential is certainly interesting. Will anyone actually use their machines for purposes other than viewing pornography, or is “computing” just the newest fad? The porn machine industry certainly wants to know. Market giants such as BangMySister.com, RustyTrombone.com, and DirtySanchez.com are reportedly investing dozens of dollars researching non-pornographic applications for the machines. “Time will tell,” Johnson says. “But it certainly is a brave new world.”

If you do attempt to use your porn machine for computing, please be sure to check out the West Seattle Funblog’s sister site, The Austin Funblog, at www.austinfunblog.com.