PHOENIX, Arizona, May 25, 2010 (WSFB-AC) - The Navajo Nation approved a strict new immigration law on Friday. The measure would allow tribal police to arrest immigrants unable to show documents that they are legally in the country.
Supporters celebrated the act as a tough crackdown on illegal immigration that will protect the nation from violent criminals. “Look,” said Navajo Nation President Kevin Johnson, “we’ve been trying stem the flow of illegal immigrants onto our land since 1540. 1540! During that time we estimate that about 5 and half million white immigrants have settled here illegally. They poison our neighborhoods with firewater, promote criminal activity, and spread influenza. And have you seen the shirts those people wear? I mean, my people like loud and garish colors, but Jesus Christ…don’t they get ‘What Not to Wear’ in their country?”
Opponents of the law claim that the measure is really nothing more than thinly veiled racism and encourages racial profiling against white American Navajos. Says area white man Rush Himmler, “this policy is nothing but anti-white sentiment and xenophobia. Just because my skin is white, I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and am built like a Nordic God with my tall, slender and muscular body, I have to carry documents proving that I am in this country legally?”
Says Johnson, “Is it wrong for police to ask for identification in a high crime, high density illegal alien area? The fact is that most of the crime in this nation is committed by whites. The safety of our citizens is our number one priority. Besides, white people come to our land seeking a better life, but then refuse to learn our language or respect our culture. They have had five centuries to assimilate, and I have to believe they’re just not trying. If they don’t like it here they should just leave.”
Johnson also claims that the law has been the victim of a massive misinformation campaign by the liberal media. “This law is not about racial profiling,” Johnson insists. “It simply makes it illegal to be illegal.” When asked if that is not just a bit redundant, Johnson paused and replied, “uhm…yeah. Now that you mention it. That’s pretty fucking stupid, isn’t it? Never mind. Scratch that part.”
