WHITE CENTER, Washington, March 11, 2010 (WSFBWCC) – From deep inside the tortilla plant on 14th Avenue Southwest, local evolutionary biologist Hans Grubersteinenmen has discovered that giant car maker Toyota may be less at fault for the recent spate of deadly car wrecks involving it’s iconic hybrid Prius than it may seem.

Citing biological research into systems that become overloaded with one species, Grubersteinenmen asserts that it is more of the ecosystem attempting to balance itself than any real error of the car company. “I started looking into the crash data and was stuck by how elitest the cars were that were crashing, and I started thinking how I couldn’t throw a bag of Mickey D’s out the window without hitting a Liberal these days. From there it was simply a case of fitting the data to my assumption.”

“As most polls show, we are a right-of-center nation,” writes blogger Black River Wolf from the bastion of common sense, Red State.

“There are too many liberals in the world. They are in overwhelming numbers. Their sickness eats away at the fabric of the universe every day. They infest every area of government, media and all elements of the public sector. There is no escape from the liberal plague, ” opines Canadian Lib_Exposer on the internet behemoth youthink.

“As you can see,” Grubersteinenmen continues, “the country is overrun with a plague of liberals, and any time you get a plague you will see environmental limiting factors kicking in. So the fact that these cars are crashing and whatnot indicates not shoddy workmanship, poor design and unresponsive corporate execs totally asleep at the switch, but the environment itself acting to rebalance itself.”

“I have been saying it since the first reports came out. The only way to prevent these horrific crashes is to lower the number of liberals,” says social scientist Aden Mitler. “We have a moral imperative to get the liberals together in a camp-like setting and humanely but firmly reduce their numbers. Only then will we see a stop to these totally avoidable car crashes.”

Ohio Senator John Boner Boehner insists that there is a tie-in between this issue and the contentious health care debate. “We’ve known all along that the only way to deal with these car crashes is to mitigate the number of liberals. That is why we oppose getting health care to the poor, because we all know that poor people (especially the dark ones) are liberal, and therefore the more who do not receive health care and die, the safer our highways and roads will be.”

“Who will think of the poor corporations? ” asked Sarah Palin, the One Woman Think Tank , “No one seem to have though about the feelings of the Toyotas, the Exxons, the Haliburtons…We need to let the Free Market work without a government takeover of our ecosytems balancing proper. Also.”

Who will think of the corporations? Indeed.