WEST SEATTLE, Washington, November 27, 2009 (WSFB) - In political-esque news, the daughter of former Vice President Richard “Dick” Cheney gave birth to a baby girl last Wednesday. The family released the following statement:

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“Former Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne Cheney, welcomed their seventh grandchild, Sarah Lynne Cheney, Wednesday, November 18, 2009. She weighed 6 lbs., 14 oz and was born at 8:17 A.M. at Sibley Hospital in Washington, D.C. Her parents are the Cheneys’ daughter Mary and her partner, Heather Poe.”

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Of note is not that Mary Cheney and her partner are lesbians. It’s not that her sexual orientation is in such sharp contrast to the conservative values and general douchebaggery of Mary’s republican father. It’s not even the questions of paternity that arose from the birth of the couple’s first child, Samuel David Cheney, born in May of 2007 and likely will continue with this, their second child.

Of note is the fact that little Sarah Lynne Cheney, at less than one week old, is already showing the distinct characteristics of her grandfather.

Said The Dick, “She looks just like me, a little mini-me. She’s got the snarl and penetrating fish-eye that I mastered in Washington. Hell, I bet it won’t be too long before she shoots one of her little crib-friends right in the fucking face.”

In an odd twist, little Sarah Cheney spoke what seemed to be her first words on only her third day of life.  The little Republican is quoted as saying, “My grandpa was in the hospital again this week. He was experiencing discomfort in his leg. The doctor asked him if he stretches. And gramps said, ‘Are you kidding? I linked 9/11 with Saddam Hussein.’ Now go fuck yourself, Senator Leahy.”

Congrats to the Cheneys on this little bundle of joy. And dear Lord, keep her out of politics.