AUSTIN, Texas, July 19, 2010 (Funblog Newswire) – Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch, better known as Cap’n Crunch, was recalled to Washington, D.C. early Tuesday in the wake of highly controversial comments he made in an interview appearing on the back of a box of breakfast cereal.

Crunch, the top US commander in Volcanica and a senior official in Americas war against The Crunchium Thieves, told reporter Kevin Johnson that his recent meeting with President Obama was a “30 second commercial. I mean, here is the guy who is going to run this fucking war and he looked scared and intimated. The leader of the free world needs to grow a pair of crunch berries, if you catch my drift.”

President Obama was “angry” after reading Crunch’s remarks, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said. “He’s also more than a little bit hungry.”