Where the fun is at

BREAKING NEWS: Climate Change Experts Changed Data To Promote Global Warming Hype, Al Gore Loses Erection Held Since 2001

WSFB_ALGORE_LOSTBONERNASHVILLE, Tennessee, November 23, 2009 (WSFB) – Hackers infiltrated multiple email systems and released information believed to be devastating to the climate change movement to Internet bloggers.

Ironically, this occurred only one month in advance of a global climate summit to be held in Copenhagen, Denmark where more than 65 world leaders are expected to attend including ex-U.S. Vice-President and climate change vanguard, Al Gore.

The information has “gone viral” according to bloghaus.ru, an international blogtracking consortium located in Romania.

This development is expected to set the climate change movement back nearly thirty years due to the broad sweeping changes made by the world’s top scientists to key data used in support of the argument surrounding the scientific validity and viability of global warming.

“We’re stunned to hear that they [the scientists] have been providing us with altered or false data. This is absolutely unprecedented and changes the whole game,” says Glenn Fennensen, climate change liaison to U.S. President Barack Obama. “We expect these people to provide us with unbiased, unaltered facts. What they’ve given us here is a fucking polar bear and narwhal show.”

Al Gore spoke to reporters outside his Nashville, Tennessee home earlier today and had this to say:

We understand what happened with the data, but it doesn’t change the reality of what was depicted in my award-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth where I single handedly exposed the plight of the planet and the impending doom we as human beings face unless we stand up and make a new economy out of saving the Earth.

You have my personal guarantee as a former U.S. Vice-President and second generation Senator in the U.S. Senate that this does not change my commitment to changing the way we treat our planet, or do other things like buy books or overpriced household items marketed to the feel good constituency comprised mostly of middle-aged first time mothers, noveau hippies, and elderly activist types from the Vietnam war era.

George W. Bush could not be reached for comment but was rumored to be in his  Crawford, Texas bunker pulling a few tubes and watching An Inconvenient Truth backwards while listening to Motley Crue’s Dr. Feelgood.

1 Response for “BREAKING NEWS: Climate Change Experts Changed Data To Promote Global Warming Hype, Al Gore Loses Erection Held Since 2001”

  1. Pete Seazle says:

    Mr. Gore: You can choose the red pill, or you can choose the blue pill, which has a little “V” on it.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

ADVERTISEMENT

Log in - BlogNews Theme by Gabfire themes