AUSTIN, Texas, December 23, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – ASM, the makers of the popular wearable blanket/backwards robe, “Snuggies”, are being sued for allegedly misrepresenting the item’s level of safety.

According to claims made by ASM on the latest television spot for Snuggies, the item can be worn while doing a multitude of activities. The ad depicts everyday citizens wearing Snuggies as they do everyday things such as watching a child’s soccer game, driving to work, going to the movies, even performing their job duties, all while wearing the backwards robe/blanket thingy.

Since the TV campaign launched in September, calls to the Snuggie Hotline and 911 have been pouring in from people who have obtained injuries they claim were caused by their Snuggies.

“I’m a butcher”, said Lars Kuunch of Bushwhack, TX. “I work in the cooler, cuz I work with meat. It’s cool in there, so I wore my Snuggie, right?  Sonofabitch got caught in the meat slicer. I’m not the fuckin’ meat it’s supposed to be slicing, yeah? That’s what pastrami is for.”

A West Seattle Police Officer says his Snuggie caused him to trip and fall while he was pursuing a purse snatcher. The officer chose to keep his identity anonymous, but said, “I was off-duty, having some coffee at Tully’s at Morgan Junction when the perp grabbed m…the purse and bolted. I began pursuit, but tripped over my midnight blue Snuggie with gold piping. Damn near broke my neck and damn well lost m… the purse. They should warn you that it’s a running hazard.” Asked why he wouldn’t reveal his name, he stated, “It was a man-purse. And it was mine. The other cops would eat this shit up. Print that and I’ll choke you with my Snuggie.”

Perhaps most frightening of all is the case of the surgeon who got the sleeve of his Snuggie caught in a piece of medical equipment when he was performing a vasectomy.

Dr. Kevin Johnson, a Urological Surgeon at Seton in Austin, Texas… yes, Dr. Johnson works in urology… told this WSFB-AC reporter the details of this horrifying accident. “We keep the operating room at a low temperature to minimize the growth of bacteria and other miniscule shit. So I put on my Snuggie and started the procedure. My sleeve became hooked on the Emasculator 1000 and caused me to accidentally solder the patient’s rectum shut. We didn’t realize this until he farted and blew a High C note.”

Johnson went on to say “The makers of Snuggie imply that you can wear those things anywhere, anytime. I’m here to tell you, in my case and in my profession? Not so much.”