WASHINGTON, District of Columbia, December 28, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – The U.S. State Department announced on Thursday that it will be publishing an organizational chart for the New World Order sometime in the spring of 2010. The chart will diagram the relationships, performance expectations, and relative ranks of the world’s countries and will be used as a framework for managing change as we transition towards the coming one-world government and one-unit monetary system, led by a permanent echelon of non-elected hereditary oligarchists. Preliminary plans have the names of the oligarchs printed in bold italics centered in shadowed boxes, possibly lavender or dusty rose with a navy border.

Assistant Secretary of State Kevin Johnson told reporters, “This administration was elected on the promise of greater transparency and open dialogue with the rest of the world. Organizational charts are an extremely effective way to communicate the current and coming organizational structure of the planet. As we continue to fill top positions with extremists, Islamic Jews, Spinal Tap drummers, nanobots, and Illuminati and move the country away from being a free market society and sovereign county and toward an apocalyptic end-time, it will be useful to represent the changes visually.”

Christi Cormier, graphics designer and HR coordinator for the New World Order, says “I think an org chart is an excellent way to keep everyone on the same page as we go through this transition. I mean, it’s not like we are just combining accounts payable with the payroll department or something. We’re talking about eradicating individual rights and eliminating autonomous nation-states and turning a secret cabal of elitists into a single global über-government. I’m thinking of using that adorable “Curlz MT” font in size 10 or 12. Of course I want to make sure that the new country titles and lines of authority are clear…but who says it can’t still be fun!”