WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 28, 2010 (WSFB) – Kim Jong Il is angry…and ronerey.  In case you’ve been too distracted by the Gulf of Mexico oil spill and the completely undramatic name for the effort to stop it (TOP KILL!), here’s a little summary of the baby mama drama going down on the Korean Peninsula.

North Korea is crazy and decides to fire a torpedo into a South Korean warship, sinking it and killing 46 South Korean sailors

North Korea denies firing a torpedo

South Korea knows the North did it because who else besides Al Qaeda would pull that shit in 2010 but decides to hold off on fully blaming them  because they are a rational nation

North Korea denies their shit again

South Korea is pretty much like OK, fuck you, we’re going to pull up this ship and prove you did it using independent investigators

Independent investigators are all “yep, those motherfuckers did it” and then they fist bump South Korea

South Korea is like c’mon Kim Jong, just apologize little man, we know you did it

North Korea is all no way we didn’t do that and to prove it we’re going to threaten war so the international community will calm us down with some free shit

Hillary Clinton visits Japan and the Japanese would have been all “please leave you annoy us” but they don’t  because they’re too polite

North Korea continues to be little, angry and poor

The rearrity, I mean reality, of the situation is that anybody worried more about the threats of a tiny dick country like North Korea more than the ecological disaster occurring in the Gulf of Mexico should check themselves before they wreck themselves.  Especially considering how cool the name of the BP led fix is, “TOP KILL”.  It’s almost like the BP execs met and said “let’s make people think this is a cool fix for our colossal fuck up” .  In fact I dreamed I changed my name to “Top Kill” the other night and in my dream I flew over to North Korea and incinerated Kim Jong Il with my laser vision Superman style.  Then I flew into the Gulf of Mexico and plugged the oil leak with a bunch of dead Taliban terrorists.  Then everyone in the world was like “Oh man, who are you and what’s your favorite website?”  and  I declared “TOOOOPPPPPP KIIIIIILLLLLL  and I only read the West Seattle Funblog, bitches!”

Have a great summer, don’t change!

EZB