Cooch Pic Not Available
HOLLYWOOD, California, August 18, 2010 (WSFB) – In the wake of her much publicized stint in the hoosegow, Lindsay Lohan is a free member of society and “free-balling” it around Southern California again, so it seems.
TMZ reporter Girth Brooks recently reported, “The Loh-ster is out and about with her coochie hangin’ out and this reporter thinks he might have witnessed a shark sighting.”
Unavailable for comment, Brooks’ assistant clearly stated she didn’t know what the fuck a shark sighting was and that Brooks was probably trying to get something witty in print that would become a catch phrase, something to impress fellow-blogger, Perez Hilton.
Hilton was not available for comment.
Speculation abounds that Lohan’s stint in California’s Lynwood Jail really didn’t change her much, but alternative scenarios abound.
Said Brooks’ unnamed assistant, “If she’s fully rehabbed like they say she is, then the only logical answer is that her panties were stolen in prison by some husky D-Block resident. Why else would she hit the nightlife scene with all of the paparazzi there snapping pictures if she’s sans-squirrel covers again? She knows they’re watching her, duh.”
Duh, indeed.
Lohan’s PR representative, Kevin Johnson, had this to say. “Look, over there! It’s an African Swallow!”
Asked if Lohan’s short-term travel plans involved Africa, Johnson stated, “I’m not at liberty to discuss anything that may or may NOT occur in Mozambique at this point. But I can say with quite certainty that a certain suitcase is packing certain panties. And I say that with certainty.”
