WEST SEATTLE, Washington, July 13, 2009 (WSFB) – The WSFB finally learned several minutes ago that Jessica Simpson was dumped by Tony Roma because she said, “you’re not the pioneer of baby back ribs” in jest at a pre-birthday party party.

Roma, who opened his first rib place in North Miami in 1972, always had a penchant for girls and ribs. A young man, he often dreamed of scantily clad women rolling about in kiddie pools of BBQ sauce.

“I think there’s nothin’ sexier than a women covered in delicious sauce”, says Roma. “I have a dippin’ tub full of Tony Roma’s secret sauce at my beach house in Miami, and there’s a party happenin’ 7 days a week!”

Proud of his rib empire that has more than 200 stores and spans 37 countries, Roma is not one to take criticism lightly.

“She said I didn’t pioneer baby back ribs, which is a bald faced lie. I AM baby back ribs and that bitch better never forget it!” exclaimed Roma when asked why he’d become so upset over Jessica’s tongue in cheek statement.

“He didn’t understand that I was joking”, says Simpson. “I should’ve known better and now I messed this all up too WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Simpson, who will be starring in an upcoming reality TV show called “The Price of Beauty”, says she’s “not going to let this breakup send me back to the food trough”; an obvious reference to her recent delectable weight gain.

The WSFB was saddened to hear this and encouraged Jessica to “look opportunity in the eye and take a big bite out of it”. After all, it shouldn’t take a big piece of meat to shut her up.