WEST SEATTLE, Washington, December 3o, 2009 (WSFB) – I was going to call this post “The West Seattle Funblog Top 10 Movies of 2009″ but 9 and 2009 rhyme too well.  Besides, I was too damn lazy to ping everyone that makes up this site for their opinions.  Even if I had asked others it probably would have been over beers at Big Al’s, or whiskey at The Feedback, and we would have only gotten so far.  It would have ended up at the Yen Wor yelling “Funblog” at the top of our lungs after one of us rocked the microphone.  At the same time I’ve been told we have some kind of WSFB contributor Facebook page, but I just kept getting redirected to this page.  What the hell does that mean?  I guess the joke’s on me.

Keep in mind there are quite a few money makers out there, as well as likely excellent films, that I did not see this year.  Avatar, District 9, Where The Wild Things Are, Inglorious Basterds and Moon come to mind.  Who has the time really? Well, without further delay, here are my top 9 movies of 2009:

9.  Adventureland

Greg Motolla, who also did Superbad, wrote and directed this movie.  The main character, James (played by Jesse Eisenberg), is a recent college graduate whose post college plans of traveling Europe fall through and, forced to get a job, lands the only job he is qualified for at a local amusement park.  What Eisenberg finds at “Adventureland” is other youngsters also trying to figure out what the fuck they are going to do with their lives.   The fact that Eisenberg’s character annoyed the shit out me took a back seat to the things I did like, especially the supporting cast (Martin Starr, Ryan Reynolds, Kristen Stewart and Bill Hader), and the setting of 1987.  These were the days before every kid on the planet had a cell phone, or could text each other naked pictures of each other.  Instead it’s a world with a little bit more mystery, one where if you want to find someone you actually have to go looking for them.

8. Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen has a fascinating ability to bring out the worst in people by making them either incredibly uncomfortable or pushing them to their respective limits.  Often times he simply annoys people to the point of fury and hatred, and his annoyance knows no boundaries.  The final scene of the movie actually induced a riot in Arkansas, where apparently a bunch of guys that come to watch half naked men wrestle in a closed ring are appalled to the point of violence by the sight of two guys making out.

7. UP

There are two reasons to see this movie, the amazing animation that Pixar has come to be known for, and talking dogs.  And not well versed talking dogs but talking dogs that sound how a dog given the ability to speak would actually sound.  If anyone out there wants to buy me a present get me a golden retriever with a dog collar that enables it to speak really delightful phrases.

6. The Hangover

I didn’t see this movie until this month, and for the last six months all I’ve heard is how great this movie is, best comedy ever, how everyone who saw it wanted to suck Zach Galifianakas’ comedy dick, etc.  Maybe it was the buildup, but this movie was just pretty good.  The first hour kind of drug a bit for me, but the last half hour makes up for it.  However, everything between the scene where Galifianakas and Bradley cooper roll down the casino escalator rain man style to the tune of “Iko Iko” and the photo roll during the credits at the end, had me basically pissing my pants, a lot.

5. Star Trek

It used to be that the Star Wars fans would always make fun of the geekier Trekkie fans.  Well I’ll take this version of Star Trek over the three latest Star Wars films that Lucas shit out any day of the week.  JJ Abrams of Lost fame (as well as Mission Impossible III) directed, and this is not your parent’s Trek.  Kirk is confident, young and hell bent on being in charge, Spock is conflicted and sent on a hell ride by Eric Bana, and the supporting cast are talented and on point.  The end result is a pretty amazing visual ride, with enough of an open ending to set up future missions of the MTV Starship Enterprise.

4. Terminator Salvation

There is no hope for preventing the machines from taking over this time around, they are fucking every human being in the ass, hard.  The only hope of “salvation” is John Connor (Christian Bale).  See John Connor run.  See John Connor destroy terminators. See John Connor basically be the baddest motherfucker on the planet, and save his own father at the same time.  Try comparing your weekend to his and not feeling like a complete pussy.

3. Zombie Land

Zombie movies are hit or miss with me, I liked the 28 days, weeks, months, whatever movies, but I never was a fan of gore and zombie brain eating without a decent storyline.  This is another movie staring Jesse Eisenberg as the main character, and this time around I think he was my favorite part of the movie.  He survives by being a little bit smarter than everyone else, and is basically a normal dude in the most messed up situation you can imagine (zombies everywhere).  He finds a couple other non zombies to travel with and the story is hit and miss at times.  The fact though is this movie had me at the opening scene, which if you don’t give a shit about being spoiled you can watch here.

2. Funny People

Judd Apatow has a unique ability to draw the best out of his actors.  He does it with his former roommate Adam Sandler in this one.  While Seth Rogen and Leslie Mann have nearly equal screen time, it’s Sandler’s role as George Simmons that held my interest.  While not as dark as his character in “Reign Over Me”, Sandler’s Simmons has an equal amount of vulnerabilities, but he hides them behind a really fucking funny shield of attitude.  Meanwhile Jason Schwartzman stole almost every scene he had in this movie, further hampering my ability to completely hate him as an actor.

1. Observe and Report

Anyone that claims Seth Rogen just play Seth Rogen in every film hasn’t seen Observe and Report.  This might be one of the darkest movies I’ve ever seen, and at the same time one of the funniest. Rogen’s character of Ronnie Barnhardt is a mall security guard that has two goals in life; keep the mall safe and score on Anna Farris.  Ronnie is in danger of fucking both these up due to a flasher that is terrorizing his mall and his bi polar disorder, as well as his general lot in life.  Ronnie lives at home with his alcoholic mom, his only clothes outside of his uniform are parachute pants and sweaters from the 80’s, his dream girl treats him like shit and his best friend and co-worker  is a crystal meth and heroin addict, yet he always keeps on course.  The mall is his world, and if anybody tries to fuck with his world he will take them out, be it skateboarders, cops, flashers or an evil Patton Oswalt.  Also, this movie might have made the best use out of a Queen song (It’s Late) since Bohemian Rhapsody in “Wayne’s World”.  “The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero.”  Believe it.