WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 27, 2009 (WSFB) – Tonight, Team WSFB placed 5th at the Rock-N-Roll trivia event at Feedback Lounge and they couldn’t be more bitter about it.

With categories such as “Satan”, “Death”, “Halloween”, and “Murder” they were a dead ringer for 2nd place.

However, as fate and the Lord Almighty would have it they were cast into oblivion and awarded a paltry 5th place with 36 of 44 points. All this despite the heroic efforts of Paula, Debbie, Monica, TheHouse, Dave, Tony, and that fat fucking loser, Luigi Linguini.

“We tried. We tried so hard. We sold so many souls and sacrificed so much to keep 2nd place – we gave it all to the Prince of Darkness, and this is how he repays us?” cries Luigi. “I thought burning a King James Bible would get me somewhere in this mortal world, but I was sadly mistaken.”

Selling your soul to the Devil doesn’t pay. Lucifer is a deceiver – a liar – and will take more of you than you ever imagined, such as your prestigious 2nd place title.

“This is all God’s fault” decries Luigi. “He TOOK the only thing I ever wanted – to be 2nd place at something – away from me.”

The only logical answer the WSFB can come up with is that God was angered by Luigi’s blasphemous article regarding the freak weather event Monday night, where hail pelted the shores of West Seattle.

Being smited by the Lord our God is now something the WSFB can add to their “About” page.