Missing: blowup doll. Last seen smoking a cigarette at Westcrest Park in Highland Park neighborhood. Caucasian, 5′2″ tall, male. Has mustache, hairy chest, and eunuch features. Answers to “Bob”, “Neal”, or “Ben Dover”. Integral part of family dynamic. If found, please contact West Seattle Funblog via [email protected].



















Oh, Petey. I had no idea you lost your special friend. What can I do?
Hey, who said it was MY special friend? I just work here!
Don’t be embarrassed, your secret is safe with me.
I will say two things, and then shut up.
1) I will not confirm nor deny whether saliva DNA tests from said doll came back positive or negative and…
2) IT’S NOT MY FUCKING BLOW UP DOLL!