Let’s get down to brass tacks.

I have a friend who recently came into a very large quantity of street grade ecstasy and we’re looking to party, but not with just any kind of girl.

We’re looking for that special someone. That girl who isn’t perfect but isn’t afraid to become a chemically-induced picture of perfection with a glowing pink aura and a passion for multiple colors of eye shadow.

Us: Disease free (mostly), independent, overindulgent, captivated by simplicity, and dying to get all sweaty with you in a dank basement near Delridge.

You: Disease free (entirely), introverted when sober, extroverted when totally fucking high, unafraid to yell at passing cars and occasionally willing to charge them head on. Most importantly, be yourself. We don’t want to deal with any poseurs.

Thanks for reading this ad. Email us here.