FOR SALE: 2010 Model Depression Bed.
Ever wanted to just curl up and die? Ever curled up to die in your own bed and thought maybe your curling up/dying performance wasn’t up to snuff? Ever gone even deeper into depression because of your CU&D posture?
Well cry no more, at least not over your form. The all new Depression Bed is customized to make sure you curl up and die with grace and class!
The Depression Bed’s unique shape ensures that your knees are adequately pulled to your chest to maximize the effects of your body-wracking sobs. Proper wrist placement allows for easier hand/face coverage when unwanted guests enter to cheer you up. As the “curl up and die” demographic is quite small, all Depression Beds are Queen-sized, so no confusing decisions to make while you have such bad juju on your mind!
Each bed comes with a patent-pending Rx Nightstand. These oak accouterments have “Spice Rack Technology” that perfectly accommodate your prescription bottles for easy access and pill-spill prevention!
You’ll never want to get out of this bed again and, if used to its full potential, YOU MAY NOT HAVE TO!
These beds are quite expensive, but hey, since you’re on your way out, you might as well send what’s left of your money to us! Please email and tell us how much money you have left and we’ll promptly send you a quote!
