Archive for the Category ‘Sports’
Written by Killboy Powerhead
Sports
Jan 25, 2010
OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma, November 5, 2009 (WSFB) – According to public records, Oklahoma City Thunder owner Clay Bennett attempted to return the NBA franchise he and a group of investors purchased in 2006 to the city of Seattle, but failed because he was unable to find the receipt.
“Our return policy is clear,” said Seattle mayor [...]
Written by ezb
Sports
Jan 20, 2010
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 19, 2010 (WSFB) – The NBA’s growing legion of apathetic fans has elected former NBA star Dikembe Mutombo to the league’s 2010 All Star game this year, despite the fact that he has retired.
Mutombo, 43, is said to be considering accepting the invitation regardless of a bad knee that forced him [...]
Written by ezb
Sports
Jan 11, 2010
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 09, 2010 (WSFB) – (Saturday’s post is being re-posted due to sheer kickassmanship and 100%ness in winnerability – Editor)
The NFL playoffs start today and the Seahawks, for the second year in a row, will not be participating. However, today’s firing of head coach Jim Mora, as well as rampant rumors of [...]
Written by Pete Seazle
Sports
Jan 4, 2010
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 04, 2010 (WSFB) – Gemma Gamison is a an 18 year-old Senior at Chief Sealth High. She is an avid horse-lover and co-captain of the school’s Literal Water Polo Team, The Marcos. Her horse, SugarCube, is her prized posession.
As rich as Gemma’s life is, it’s only made richer by the tragedy [...]
Written by ezb
Sports
Dec 19, 2009
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, December 19, 2009 (WSFB) – Editors Note: Usually we throw Opinion pieces under the Opinion section but since this is sports opinion just deal with it, ok? And now we’re explaining ourselves for our actions, fantastic. Maybe we have lost our edge. Just leave us alone, ok? Get off our back already…
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Written by Killboy Powerhead
Sports
Dec 4, 2009
GAINESVILLE, Florida, December 04, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – The University of Florida’s Tim Tebow has won virtually every award a college athlete can win: the Heisman Trophy, The Maxwell Award, Player of the Year, the Davey O’Brien Award, the Manning Award, the Disney Spirit Award, the highly coveted Wuerffel Trophy, and is a finalist for the [...]
Written by Pete Seazle
Sports
Dec 3, 2009
WINDERMERE, Florida, December 03, 2009 (WSFB) – Guest contributor, Lorena Bobbit, made famous for severing the penis of husband John Wayne Bobbitt in 1993, approached the West Seattle Funblog and offered to interview her close friend and neighbor, Elin Nordegren. We graciously accepted her offer.
Nordegren is known for her own work as a famous Scandinavian [...]
Written by Pete Seazle
Sports
Dec 2, 2009
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, December 02, 2009 (WSFB) – A new phenomenon has reared its head in West Seattle: Drag Racing.
High speed? Check.
High adrenaline? Check.
High heels? Uhhhhhhhh, check?
The terrain of West Seattle has been deemed conducive to this new sport in which male contestants don dresses, skirts, blouses, nylons, and heels for Cross-Country Drag Racing. This is not your [...]
Written by Killboy Powerhead
Sports
Nov 30, 2009
SAN FRANCISCO, California, November 30, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – Recent evidence has surfaced proving once and for all what we have long suspected about the game of soccer: it’s here, and it’s queer.
Theories of soccer’s homosexuality first surfaced in 1983 when then 9th grader Kevin Johnson skipped the school basketball tryouts in favor of the fledgling [...]
Written by Pete Seazle
Sports
Nov 29, 2009
ORLANDO, Florida, November 30, 2009 (WSFB) – He’s back. He’s black. He golfs and shloinks super-Swede models. Life is good.
Yet, times are tough in Florida for golfing’s own self-appointed Master of Kickassmanship, Tiger Woods.
Thanksgiving usually ends with pumpkin pie and a nap, but this year marked something different for the Woods household. Black Friday now [...]