WASHTINGTON, D.C., March 4, 2010 (WSFB-AC) – After a thirty-year investigation by the DEA, arrests have been made to key members of the popular TV shows The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. The investigation has revealed that the popular back-to-back TV shows watched by every loser sitting at home on a Saturday night were in reality fronts [...]

WASHTINGTON, DC. February 26, 2010 (WSFB-AC) –  Dozens of conservative protesters from across the country converged on the Capitol Sunday morning to demonstrate against everything as it currently stands. With the stimulus package staving off an epic economic depression but not rescuing the economy, two wars that are going neither better nor worse, and [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February, 17, 2010 (WSFB) – CNN, or Cable News Network, will soon be changing it’s name to the Anderson Cooper Network (ACN)  due to the increased popularity of its primary anchor, Anderson Cooper.  Along with the name change, the new ACN will shift coverage from world news events to stories only related [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 12, 2010 (WSFB) – Don’t be taken in by the promise of a succulent and flavorful core. Don’t be lured by the culinary siren and drift toward the rocks of this delightful perennial thistle.
The truth is this fucking thing has the ability to kill you and everyone around you. Dead.
Let’s step [...]

HOLLYWOOD, California, January 28, 2010 (WSFB-AC) – Hey. you all know me, but just to avoid the copyright and trademark cops I’m gonna go by a pseudonym. So let’s just say my name is Ben. But with a “K.” Got it? Cool.
So listen. I know everyone thinks being Ke … I mean “Ben” is awesome [...]

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana, January 27, 2010 (WSFB) - A recent run on alligator skin products has created a shortage of gator meat for restaurants up and down the West Coast. Gator meat is exclusively farm-raised in Louisiana for export around the country and Canada, Mexico, and particularly Scotland, where gator meat is believed to have a [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, December 23, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – ASM, the makers of the popular wearable blanket/backwards robe, “Snuggies”, are being sued for allegedly misrepresenting the item’s level of safety.
According to claims made by ASM on the latest television spot for Snuggies, the item can be worn while doing a multitude of activities. The ad depicts everyday citizens wearing Snuggies as [...]

Portland, Oregon, January 17, 2010 (WSFB) – A Portland man’s choice to wear gold and diamond “Gillz”, a popular form of mouth jewelry amongst teens and hip-hop stars, is beginning to hurt his chances of promotion at work.
Mark Ingerstaan began working at the Sammie, Davis and Junior Law Firm two years ago, and since has [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, January 15, 2010 (WSFB-AC) -
Four young men sit in a dimly lit room. A variety of brightly colored dice are visible on the tabletop. The smell of cheap pizza hangs in the air, spiked with a faint tang of stale sweat. At one end of the table sits Jim, a clean shaven young man [...]

BROOKLYN, New York, January 14, 2010 (WSFB) – During their weekly meeting at the corner of 75th Street and 13th Avenue in Brooklyn, New York, Big Anthony, Johnny Streets and the Momo Express all agreed with their friend Goolio that Pat Robertson is a, “huge piece of shit for all that Satan and Haiti bullshit [...]