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Archive for the Category ‘Fun News’

Thousands Turn Out To Lincoln Memorial: Infuriated By “Wrong” Beck

Thousands Turn Out To Lincoln Memorial: Infuriated By “Wrong” Beck

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 30, 2010 (WSFB) – Most turned out to see the Beck who has charted mega-hits such as Devil’s Haircut, Loser, and Where it’s at (2 Turntables and a Microphone). Still others came to see guitar god/innovator Jeff Beck (Yardbirds, Jeff Beck Group, Rod Stewart…). All were misled, and pissed off. A [...]

Corporate America Revels In Rollout Of New, Less Convenient Toilet Paper Dispenser

Corporate America Revels In Rollout Of New, Less Convenient Toilet Paper Dispenser

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 10, 2010 (WSFB) -  In an effort to discourage the routine performance of bodily functions resulting in lost man hours, an emerging technology is making it possible for toilet paper to be even less usable in restrooms nationwide.
Previous innovations include the “one-sheeter”, the “folder”, “the Ripper”, the “80 Grit” the “why is [...]

RIM Jobs Provide Competitive Wage, Benefits

RIM Jobs Provide Competitive Wage, Benefits

WATERLOO, Ontario, Canada, August 03, 2010 (WSFB) – Canadian firm, Research In Motion (NASDAQ GS: RIMM), announced a stateside expansion of their hardware assembly operations at the recently constructed RIM Technology Center in Provo, Utah that will produce the new RIM BlackBerry Torch 9800 smartphone.
Several hundred jobs will be filled, from assembly to facilities, from [...]

Craigslist, Facebook Unveil Phase One Integration In Lieu Of Merger

Craigslist, Facebook Unveil Phase One Integration In Lieu Of Merger

SILICON VALLEY, California, August 02, 2010 (WSFB) – Craigslist founder Craig Newmark and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg finalized a deal today they hope will combine the efforts of both web-based powerhouse networks into a single entity known as Craigsbook.
While awaiting final approval from the Securities and Exchange Commission, Craigslist will begin seeding Facebook with its [...]

Hedonism II Claims Dirtier Beaches Than BP

Hedonism II Claims Dirtier Beaches Than BP

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 02, 2010 (WSFB) – Proprietors of Hedonism II, the sexually-oriented beach resort chain, claim that they make beaches much dirtier than anything BP, formerly British Petroleum, has come up with in the Gulf of Mexico with their “paltry Deepwater Horzion lube job,” as Hedonsim reps call it.
“Their beaches are made up of muck [...]

Cap’n Crunch Recalled to Washington

Cap’n Crunch Recalled to Washington

AUSTIN, Texas, July 19, 2010 (Funblog Newswire) – Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch, better known as Cap’n Crunch, was recalled to Washington, D.C. early Tuesday in the wake of highly controversial comments he made in an interview appearing on the back of a box of breakfast cereal.
Crunch, the top US commander in Volcanica and a senior [...]

U.S. Addresses Illegal Aliens Through Annexation

U.S. Addresses Illegal Aliens Through Annexation

EL PASO, Texas, July 15, 2010 (WSFB) – The Obama Admistration, on the hot seat for not doing anything about illegal aliens entering the country primarlily from the south, have taken a hard-line approach to the issue with a decisive new policy. The U.S. has annexed all of Northern Mexico and created a soft-line.
“Now they’re not illegal,” said President Obama from [...]

New Evidence Links Mr. Ed to Death of JFK

New Evidence Links Mr. Ed to Death of JFK

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, July 12, 2010 (WSFB) – Startling new photographic evidence has surfaced which may reopen the investigation into the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The photos are said to make the Zapruder film look old and grainy. The photos surfaced here in West Seattle and may exonerate Lee Harvey Oswald after almost [...]

Sun Brings Out Summer Dresses… In Kyrgyzstan

Sun Brings Out Summer Dresses… In Kyrgyzstan

BISHKEK, Kyrgyzstan, June 30, 2010 (WSFB) – Warmer temps and the emergence of the sun have brought out the summer dresses in Kyrgyzstan’s capital city.
The photo at left is NOT one of those dresses.
Kyrgyzstani women are known for several things including weathered facial features, shrinking necklines, and a damn fine borscht. They are not known [...]

Fox News Reports That Everything is Obama’s Fault. Everything.

Fox News Reports That Everything is Obama’s Fault. Everything.

NEW YORK, New York, June 30, 2010 (Funblog Newswire) – Fox News reported today that everything is President Obama’s fault. Everything.
In simulcasts on its television, radio, and online broadcasts, Fox News said, “according to a top official with the universe, every bad thing that is happening now or ever has happened or ever will happen [...]

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