PORTLAND, Oregon, March 14, 2012 (WSFB) – In light of the ongoing struggles throughout the Middle East, Nike has pulled the reins and headed back to the stable with the name of its new athletic shoe.
“Our intent was to honor sportsman from around the globe with our new line of shoes,” said Kevin Johnson, Marketing [...]
OAK BROOK, Illinois, February 8, 2012 (WSFB) – McDonald’s Restaurants are bringing back the McRib later this year. And in advance of what is surely to be a massive ad campaign, Mickey D’s is conducting an advertising prequel to dispel any concerns over the quality of meat it is using.
“Even though it’s in the shape [...]
MIAMI, Florida, January 31, 2012, (WSFB) – As the Mitt Romney campaign revels in its smugness over its current poll standings in Florida, underdog GOP Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich isn’t pulling any punches.
Yesterday, with less than 24 hours remaining before the increasingly important Florida Primary, Gingrich named his running mate for Vice President…
Floridian, Casey Anthony.
Typically, [...]
WASHINGTON, D.C., January 27, 2012 (WSFB) - According to a recent report, President Obama is so engrossed with the republican primaries that he’s forgotten all his responsibilities as Commander in Chief.
“He spends all day watching Fox News,” said White House press secretary Jay Carney, “we’re a little worried. I keep telling him he has to [...]
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 23, 2012 (WSFB)
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MACLEAN, Virginia, January 20, 2012 (WSFB) – It was discovered today that Newt Gingrich literally constructed his own moral universe, mostly built out of mirrors, birch bark, and headshots.
“It’s amazing,” confirmed one reporter, verifying the find. “When you walk inside, it’s impossible to be wrong. No matter where you stand, you always have the moral [...]
THE MOON, SOMEWHERE OVER WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 13, 2012 (WSFB) – Ron Paul’s bid for the Republican Presidential nomination has slipped of late, most likely due to his campaign strategy.
Said Campaign Adviser Kevin Johnson, “We told Ron that our time would be best spent in New Hampshire and South Carolina as these early primaries are important [...]
CHARLESTON, South Carolina, January 6, 2012 (WSFB) – Michelle Bachman announced today that she was very disappointed Rick Perry did not also exit the race like he promised her he would. “We had a pact,” she said, referencing an old Seinfeld episode. “I told him I would only exit the race if he did. We [...]
PHOENIX, Arizona, December 30, 2011 (WSFB) – In Michelle Bachmann’s absolutely ridiculous and preposterous bid for the Republican Presidential nomination, pandering to minorities seems to have become the norm.
Little known outside the confines of northern Arizona, Bachmann held a Pajama Party a couple of months ago and reached out to our neighbors to the south.
“I [...]
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, December 28, 2011 (WSFB) – The ceding of the space race to Russia has been hard for NASA, but it is proving especially hard for American astronaut Dan Burbank, who hitched a ride on a Russian rocket to the International Space Station. “They’re just being jerks,” remarked a saddened Burbank, speaking from [...]
