The West Seattle Funblog » Classifieds

Classifieds ~ T-Shirts for Sale

Pete Seazle — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:21:35 +0000

With St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner, it’s time to start planning your party attire! Sure, you could simply wear green, but that’s the slacker way out. You’re actually Irish and you need to flaunt it!

With our new line of “Proud to be Irish” t-shirts, you’ll be the envy of everyone at Fado or Kjell’s. Order today as quantities are limited.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds: Free To Good Home ~ Pet Frog

Pete Seazle — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:39:24 +0000

I have a male frog that hit puberty and has been out of control ever since. I’m a 73-year-old woman and just don’t have the knowledge, energy, or ability to care for a pet exploring its sexuality and has…. such unorthodox desires, to say the least.

He’s quite fond of salami, knackwurst, bacon, and any pork product. Looking for a good home with owners that can assist my little green man in conforming to society’s parameters.

Fuck it; just get this horny bastard out of my hair before I sell his skinny little ass to a Cajun restaurant. Good home, nothin’; free to ANY home!

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds ~ Helicopter for Sale

Killboy Powerhead — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:17:20 +0000

For Sale: 1973 Bell Helicopter. Comes with Crazy-Assed, Coked-up Yanomamo Pilot with a Gourd on his Cock!

This vintage Bell Ranger J47 Helicopter is in excellent condition. Comes complete with Arriel 2B1 engine, Garmin electronics, tail boom, and one seriously fucked up indigenous South American pilot who’s been chewing coca leaves and shot-gunning Robitussin & Rum for three months and has a giant gourd strapped to his cock! $1,199! What a bargain! Just in time for St. Paddy’s Day!

Classifieds ~ For Sale: African Safari Package

Pete Seazle — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:18:30 +0000

For Sale: One African Safari package for two. My wife and I were going to take our dream trip to Africa next Spring, but the bitch left me for the referee in our son’s football leaugue. Go see wild cats rip the lifeblood out of piece of shit zebras. Will sell half of package to a fiery cougar willing to join me.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds ~ Wanted: Donations for Olympic Uniforms

Pete Seazle — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:03:33 +0000

In these tough economic times, even Olympic athletes are feeling the pinch. Most Olympic Teams need donations. They need funds to pay for proper uniforms.

As seen in this photo, Naoko and Helge, from the Synchronized Swimming Teams of Japan and Sweden, respectively, are merely wearing painted on uniforms. In their sport, this doesn’t float. You can’t go for the gold wearing nothing but paint. Please help them avoid embarassment and contribute so we can clothe them properly.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds ~ Freehand Flowchart / Whiteboard Interpreter

Blunderlackey — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:30:03 +0000

I work with this guy named Geoff and during meetings he’s in charge of writing stuff up on the whiteboard. He’s really smart and understands everything we’re trying to accomplish as a group.

I’m a visual learner. It helps me understand things better when I can see detail in a clear, cohesive manner.

I can’t read the shit Geoff puts on the whiteboard and it’s making my job difficult because I don’t get what the fuck is going on and I can’t do what I need to do.

I’m looking for someone who can make sense of this picture. If you can break this down and I validate you’re correct, I’ll pay you $100.00 per meeting to sit with me and take notes. Easy money.

I will spend this time catching up on Facebook and laughing at the funny shit on the Funblog rather than feeling uncomfortable and stupid.

Thanks in advance.

Classifieds ~ Wanted: Quality Dating Material

Pete Seazle — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 23:03:21 +0000

Wanted: Just one damn quality date. Do you know how hard it is to find a normal person? Set ups by friends usually fail. And blind dates usually go like a recent one I went on, as evidenced by this picture.

I’m a good person. I’m funny. I’m intelligent. My mom tells me these things all the time. But a quality date? I mean check this loser out! She wasn’t even impressed with my Rubik’s Cube mastery!

Someone please shoot me.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds ~ Concert Tix Available

Pete Seazle — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:16:21 +0000

Available: Several pairs of concert tickets for an upcoming event at Benaroya Hall next month. Local West Seattleite and Internationally reknowned cellist Yo MaMa will perform her favorite Beatles songs.

Not to be confused with cellist Yo Yo Ma, Yo MaMa is a cellist as well as a clothing desinger and will be displaying her handmade wares in Paris this spring. For each musical piece performed at the concert, she will model a unique dress, like that seen at left, that was crafted on her Photoshop SewMaster. Contact the West Seattle Funblog for details on how to get tickets.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com

Classifieds ~ Spin Your Wax

Pete Seazle — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:06:47 +0000

Available: A place to spin your wax. The Skylark Cafe (3803 Delridge Way SW, Seattle, WA 98106 – 206.935.2111) opens its turntables to the people on Tuesday nights at 6:00 PM for its weekly and aptly named, “Spin Your Wax”.

Bring your LP’s and 45’s, grab a bite and a beverage, and enjoy an eclectic mix of tunes from Seattle’s best audiophiles.

Classifieds ~ Seamstress Available For Hire

Pete Seazle — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:16:26 +0000

Wanted: Seamstress position. Have 5 years experience. Ran my own home business in which I brought my services directly to customers’ homes and offices. Bonus skill: can mend clothing while still being worn. Made yellow dress shown in picture with my Photoshop SewMaster (click pic to see detail). Have excellent oral skills, know how to follow instructions, and specialize in zippers and crotch repair.

Pete@westseattlefunblog.com