Author Archive
Written by Tony Cojones
Classifieds
Jun 9, 2010
A true English double-action classic from 1975. Has been used liberally by the owner but only in the evenings. This hand-held beauty has a clean, smooth finish and evokes a warm rich tone (an almost whimsical groan) as it is pulled in and out. Buttons are spaced nicely and will accommodate even the largest hands for high-energy [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
National
Dec 18, 2009
NEW YORK CITY, New York, December 18, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - In a gruesome act of holiday violence, Barry Gibb, frontman for the band The Bee Gees, was viciously attacked in Central Park.
Mr. Gibbs, (born September 1, 1946) is a singer, songwriter and producer. With his brothers Robin and Maurice, he formed The Bee Gees, [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
Fun News
Nov 25, 2009
AUSTIN, Texas, November 25, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - Yes, we are all looking forward to tasty home cooking and family bonding during this holiday season. But with the fun and frivol comes the annual migration of that gelatinous genome, yes, the cylindrical cran-beast, or as I like to call it, the Paul Prudhomme Bloodclot, known formally as [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
Local
Nov 24, 2009
WEST SEATTLE, Washington, November 24, 2009 (WSFB-AC) -Longtime resident of West Seattle, Ruth Lessness, has had enough and this Thanksgiving she’s ready to kick some breast.
“Every year it’s ‘Here, Gran, you can have the neck, you like the neck, right?’ or ‘How about a nice big leg?’ Well, this year it’s all about the white [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
National
Nov 23, 2009
WASILLA, Alaska, November 23, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - With all the media hype surrounding former Alaskan Governor and former 2008 Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, this exclusive interview was conducted just prior to the release of her new book Going Rogue. Following is an excerpt of the candid and insightful discussion I had with Ms. Palin when [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
Entertainment
Nov 18, 2009
AUSTIN, Texas, November 18, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - In a press conference early Wednesday morning, Joe Eliot of the English rock band, Def Leppard, addressed the mysterious circumstances surrounding the October 17, 2009 cancellation of the last leg (sic) of their North American tour of the U.S. and Canada. Until this point, it had only explained as [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
National
Nov 17, 2009
AUSTIN, Texas November 17, 2009, (WSFB-AC) — In a surprising announcement today, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano proclaimed that the U.S. border “now more secure than the Hope Diamond if it were lodged up Chuck Norris’ ass.”
Known for her hands-on approach to immigration issues and intimate knowledge of Chuck Norris’ ass, Napolitano was quoted as [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
Local
Nov 16, 2009
TOKYO, Japan, November 16, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - In what may become perhaps the single most historic event in hip-hop history, U.S. President Barack Obama, “bent over to the front, touched his toes, backed his ass up and down, and got low” for Emperor Akihito during his visit to the Imperial Palace in Tokyo on Saturday.
We may [...]
Written by Tony Cojones
Fun News, National
Nov 16, 2009
AUSTIN, Texas, November 16, 2009, (WSFB-AC) — Following the announcement last Friday that water had been discovered on the moon, NASA officials admitted that the excitement of the discovery has trickled to a world-class disappointment since the admission by Edwin Eugene “Buzz” Aldrin, Jr. that the lander crashed into the very spot he pissed, back [...]