Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
I’m glad to see that you’ve slowed down and have made time to smell the roses. Take it easy and don’t let strangers touch you, unless it feels good.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Time to focus on the New Year and buckle down. Good things come to those that go for [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
You’re swinging through this week like a big brass band, so don’t worry about how many zoots it took to make that suit.  Relax, and enjoy some  time for yourself.  At least you’re not re-living those love beads days.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Are you hot to trot this [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Is the moon rising in your house, or are you just happy to see me? This week your destiny wears the bicycle helmet of a 9 year-old. I suggest getting your Google freak on, reality is way overrated this week.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Jan Feb 18)
You love water, which [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Why is it that you love to be seen talking on your cellphone? First off, you have to turn it on, secondly, you don’t have any friends to call, goatboy. Capricorns went out of style back in the 80’s.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
When people are talking to you, you tend [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
This is your week to celebrate, whether it be a new love interest or perhaps a job promotion.  Throw a party! One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
A 5-star hotel doesn’t compare to all those stars in the sky. Take time to notice them this week, [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Fortunately life insurance policies don’t exclude death benefits for those who die of venereal diseases, as a significant high percentage do.  Gaseous clouds have been detected around Uranus.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
You can turn the world on with your smile. Accept love and chocolate graciously.  Have you been [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Take your loved one out for a nice Chinese dinner this week, and then follow what your fortune cookie says… in bed.
Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)
You’re still stuck in the 80’s, now would be a great time for a new hairdo.  You’re torturing everyone like a hot poker [...]

Your Weekly Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Aries – (Mar 21-Apr 19)
You’re an over achiever which serves you well in business, but not dating.  Quality over quantity. Watch the partying my friend, you’re a prime candidate for a beer gut.
Taurus – (Apr 20-May 20)
Go out and enjoy the great outdoors.  Fortuitous lunar-solar alignment prevents sunburns!
Gemini – (May 21-June 20)
Friends, [...]

A Weekly Look at Your Horoscope
- by Patty Seazle
Aries – (Mar 21-Apr 19)
You’re such a daredevil Aries, but there are certain things in life which we must all be prepared for.   A chimpanzee may break wind and offer you a sniff.   Such vile behavior is best left unrewarded.   Walk away.
Taurus – (Apr [...]