AUSTIN, Texas, May 5, 2010, (WSFB-AC) – In 1985 you were going about your daily high school routine. You showed up to third period Typing class, a few minutes late as usual. Everyone turned to look at you when you came in. Halfway to your seat, you realized that something just did not feel right. [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, May 4, 2010 – (WSFB-AC) – In a press conference early Monday morning, planet earth delivered a clear message to the human race: “Piss off, you bunch of wankers.”
“Humanity has had close to two million years to join the rest of the planet in a spirit of collaboration and cooperation. Frankly, they have [...]

WASHTINGTON, DC. February 26, 2010 (WSFB-AC) –  Dozens of conservative protesters from across the country converged on the Capitol Sunday morning to demonstrate against everything as it currently stands. With the stimulus package staving off an epic economic depression but not rescuing the economy, two wars that are going neither better nor worse, and [...]

For Sale: 1973 Bell Helicopter. Comes with Crazy-Assed, Coked-up Yanomamo Pilot with a Gourd on his Cock!
This vintage Bell Ranger J47 Helicopter is in excellent condition. Comes complete with Arriel 2B1 engine, Garmin electronics, tail boom, and one seriously fucked up indigenous South American pilot who’s been chewing coca leaves and shot-gunning Robitussin & Rum for three [...]

TOKYO, Japan, February 24, 2010 (WSFB-AC) – In an act to redeem himself and his family from shame, the President of Toyota recently committed hari-kari by driving a Prius. Akio Toyota has brought shame and disgrace to a once proud industry giant, but restored his honor in death by driving one of his company’s own [...]

MILAN, Italy, November 12, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – In an obscure painting entitled “The Last Supper”, people are seeing more than just the apparently random portrayal of a bunch of guys eating dinner with Christ. Hundreds of people have reported seeing an image of the mournful face of Jesus within the painting of Christ.
The painting, by [...]

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma, November 5, 2009 (WSFB) – According to public records, Oklahoma City Thunder owner Clay Bennett attempted to return the NBA franchise he and a group of investors purchased in 2006 to the city of Seattle, but failed because he was unable to find the receipt.
“Our return policy is clear,” said Seattle mayor [...]

AUSTIN, TX. December 29, 2009 – (WSFB-AC). According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, for reasons yet unknown the level of sunlight reaching the earth’s surface on December 21st was at its lowest point in almost a year.
Said Kevin Johnson, Chief Galactic Astronomer, at an emergency press conference, “Holy fucking shit! We finally used [...]

WASHINGTON, District of Columbia, December 28, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – The U.S. State Department announced on Thursday that it will be publishing an organizational chart for the New World Order sometime in the spring of 2010. The chart will diagram the relationships, performance expectations, and relative ranks of the world’s countries and will be used [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, December 21, 2009 (WSFB-AC) –  The proud tradition of journalistic excellence, innuendo, double/triple/quadruple entendre, and general Patronmanship reached a climax on Friday with the presentation of the first annual Kevin R. Johnson Awards for Various Kinds of Shit.
These prestigious awards recognize distinguished achievement in investigative reporting, electronic media, tentacle porn, pixie porn, gourd [...]