AUSTIN, Texas, July 22, 2010 (AFB) – At first glance, Karen Stone looks like any suburban housewife from the Midwest. But look closer, and you’ll see she is anything but typical. Unless you consider being an addict typical.
Karen is in rehab for abusing fentanyl, cocaine, morphine, Liquid Paper, and Tylenol PM. Even more frightening? Karen [...]
AUSTIN, Texas, July 02, 2010 (AFB) – Melba Snatterly, inventor of the brown, tasteless, inexplicably popular crackers known throughout the world as “Melba Toast” has died.
Mrs. Snatterly, a housewife who dealt with her lack of culinary skills by turning what most women would call “Failures” into new and interesting tidbits such as the Melba Toast, [...]
AUSTIN, Texas, June 14, 2010 (AFB) – The heat. The unbearable heat is already here, and it’s only May. School isn’t even out for summer, and the humidity is already so high that just walking to the mailbox can take your hair from silky smooth to looking like something that sprouts from the head of [...]
AUSTIN, Texas, June 11, 2010 (AFB) – The Austin Funblog is proud to spotlight a new, local business that opened recently inside Lake Woods Mall. Drop and Shop, whose motto is “We care, so you don’t have to pretend to” caters to busy parents who need to run errands in the mall and who don’t [...]
(Today brings us the Finale / Part III of Cybil Stepford’s NYC Diet Series!)
CEDAR PARK, Texas, April 05, 2010 (WSFB-AC) -
Day 5:
Weight Gained 1lb.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I know what’s going on here. It’s the goddamn cool whip! This shit MUST have calories and fat and sugar in it somewhere in all that fluffy white [...]
(Today brings us Part II of Cybil Stepford’s NYC Diet Series. Please see link at bottom of this article to re-read Part I from last week. Series Finale to post later this week!)
CEDAR PARK, Texas, March 29, 2010 (WSFB-AC) -
Day 3:
Weight lost: 1/4 lb.
Whoopdefreakindoo.
Woke up with the same headache I’ve had for the last few [...]
CEDAR PARK, Texas, March 24, 2010 (WSFB-AC) - Like most women I have struggled with my weight off and on for years. I lose, I gain, I bitch, I buy stretchy pants, I stick my finger down my throat, I take laxatives, I buy Ipecac syrup and tell the cashier at Walgreens that I think my [...]
AUSTIN, Texas, December 23, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – ASM, the makers of the popular wearable blanket/backwards robe, “Snuggies”, are being sued for allegedly misrepresenting the item’s level of safety.
According to claims made by ASM on the latest television spot for Snuggies, the item can be worn while doing a multitude of activities. The ad depicts everyday citizens wearing Snuggies as [...]
CLEVELAND, Ohio, December 14, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – Baby products manufacturer Evenflo Co. announced this morning it would begin an immediate recall of its popular “Whirly Hurly Projectile Vomit Machine.” Calls began pouring in to the hotlines about a month ago from parents who had concerns about the item.
Jim Perkins, from Leander, Texas, said “Well, for one [...]
THE NORTH POLE, Alaska, December 04, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - Borrowing a page from corporate America’s playbook, Santa Claus revealed that for the last six months the North Pole has been monitoring Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites as part of its global Naughty/Nice evaluation process. They found the information they were after, plus a whole [...]
