HOLLYWOOD, California, January 28, 2010 (WSFB-AC) – Hey. you all know me, but just to avoid the copyright and trademark cops I’m gonna go by a pseudonym. So let’s just say my name is Ben. But with a “K.” Got it? Cool.
So listen. I know everyone thinks being Ke … I mean “Ben” is awesome [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, January 15, 2010 (WSFB-AC) -
Four young men sit in a dimly lit room. A variety of brightly colored dice are visible on the tabletop. The smell of cheap pizza hangs in the air, spiked with a faint tang of stale sweat. At one end of the table sits Jim, a clean shaven young man [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, December 22, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – Hey babe.  Yeah, it’s me.  The 80’s.  How’s it going?  Yeah, me too.
Listen, I’m just going to come right out and say this.  I love you.  We belong together.  Baby, please come back.
Come on, don’t give me that look.  You know we were great together.  I mean, we [...]

ESTATE SALE — Everything must go! Items offered include: beautiful home with workshop in rustic northern locale, sleigh, large bags, servants of small stature, assorted reindeer, enormous behaviorally defined database of people aged 1-92 (perfect for marketing/demographic research), hundreds of thousands of partially constructed toys.

SAN FRANCISCO, California, December 16, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – Responding to an anonymous 911 call that a large number of individuals using martial arts such as kung fu were engaged in violent activity, local law enforcement representatives successfully broke up a large fight at a local Chinatown drinking establishment Saturday night.
The altercation, which occurred at Egg [...]

NORTH POLE, Alaska, December 07, 2009 (WSFB-AC) - Hey.  Santa here.  I’ve decided it’s time to make a few changes around here.
You know, every year it’s the same fucking thing.  I work like a dog all year getting piles of shit ready for you people.  Letter after letter from snot nosed little shits begging for piles [...]

SWM, professional, Christian, 37, seeks pre-op trans. amputee who enjoys tentacle porn, scat, golden showers, pegging, and Howler Monkeys for good times near local elementary school playgrounds. Must provide own rain gear, primate. No freaks or weirdos please. And wear something lacy as well.

CHICAGO, Illinois, November 16, 2009 (WSFB-AC) – Amid widespread media reports that she is nearing a decision to bring her long-running daily television show “The Oprah Winfrey Show” to a close, Ms. Winfrey reportedly has begun making appearances at open-mike nights at comedy clubs around the region in an attempt to develop and expand her [...]

AUSTIN, Texas, November 09, 2009 (WSFB-AC)- Just days before his scheduled performance at the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, TX, multiple unnamed sources reported today that American stand-up comedian and film actor Dane Cook was suddenly converted to a spiritual form without first dying a normal human death, subsequently rising into the clouds and taking [...]