I’m a visual learner. It helps me understand things better when I can see detail in a clear, cohesive manner.

I can’t read the shit Geoff puts on the whiteboard and it’s making my job difficult because I don’t get what the fuck is going on and I can’t do what I need to do.

I’m looking for someone who can make sense of this picture. If you can break this down and I validate you’re correct, I’ll pay you $100.00 per meeting to sit with me and take notes. Easy money.

I will spend this time catching up on Facebook and laughing at the funny shit on the Funblog rather than feeling uncomfortable and stupid.

Thanks in advance.

I have a friend who recently came into a very large quantity of street grade ecstasy and we’re looking to party, but not with just any kind of girl.

We’re looking for that special someone. That girl who isn’t perfect but isn’t afraid to become a chemically-induced picture of perfection with a glowing pink aura and a passion for multiple colors of eye shadow.

Us: Disease free (mostly), independent, overindulgent, captivated by simplicity, and dying to get all sweaty with you in a dank basement near Delridge.

You: Disease free (entirely), introverted when sober, extroverted when totally fucking high, unafraid to yell at passing cars and occasionally willing to charge them head on. Most importantly, be yourself. We don’t want to deal with any poseurs.

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