Dear JT,
A while back I was house-sitting for a friend and decided to do a little entertaining while they were gone. I’m pretty sure I entertained in every room. This was almost a year ago and I just found out they had a video security system. It recorded every time there was movement. I have no idea how many people have seen the tapes, all I know is no one bothered to tell me about it. Plus, I have a girlfriend now and if she finds out, I am sooooo dead. WTF do I do now?
Dead BF
Dear DBF,
Well, I guess you can hope you were a really bad lay and didn’t move around much? You can hope you have awesome friends, because I would be seriously pissed if I found out you did it on my kitchen table, or the couch I sit on every day. And I sure wouldn’t worry about protecting your girlfriend. If you haven’t already bought her an amazing gift, I would start shopping RIGHT NOW.
You might also consider why you have such a lame girlfriend. Not because she should be accepting of the fact that you are a total man-whore, but because anyone who can’t see what a complete idiot you are and laugh in your face, probably isn’t worth keeping around. If she wasn’t with you at the time, why the hell should you be dead? You are to be mocked and reminded of this event every time she wants something. Not punished as if you were a child.
The fact that you are so afraid doesn’t bode well for a blissful future. Women may be the boss of you, I should say are the boss of you, but that doesn’t mean they get to be nasty about it. She needs to understand that doing stupid things is going to be an ongoing lifestyle for you. This is but the first of many such excellent, well thought out decisions you make.
Either way, mad girlfriend, lame girlfriend, she is soon to be ex-girlfriend. I would mass produce that video ASAP and get some cash. You’re going to need it to convince the next girl you date.
JT
Wanna touch JT’s private parts? Well, you can’t. She’s bitchy that way. But you can definitely ask her a question! Send it to wtfwjtd@gmail.com!
