Dear WTFWJTD:

I am a mother of a teenager. Not being a conventional parent, I have been known to frequent local dives, have a few (ok 10) drinks and occasionally perform some bad karaoke and once in a while flash my boobs at the audience. But only once in a while. The problem is, this is a small town. Too small for my big personality and boobs. The other night I dropped my daughter off for a sleepover at a new friend’s house. I went in to meet the girl’s dad and him and his friend looked eerily familiar. I had a suspicion I had engaged them on some level before. Should I have said something, like “have we met before”, or “pardon me, but have we ever hooked up”? Or do I just act like I know nothing? After all…. who really cares?

Bad MoFO

Dearest MoFO,

I care! The friend was me you dumb fuck. I know I can look like a dude sometimes, but Jesus, you’d think by the second time you would have figured it out. And you probably shouldn’t hand out business cards with your photo after, if you’re trying to remain anonymous.

I’m all in favor of having a good time, but the mantra “don’t shit where you eat” is coming to mind. You do have a child and as much as it pains me to say this, some degree of responsibility is in order. Just because you’re a slut doesn’t mean she should have to carry that burden and deal with all the little man-whores from school looking for a MILF.

The possibility of finding a crazy pill that takes is next to nil, so how about you consider a neighboring community for your singing boob show? I’ve heard there are some fine establishments out near Sea-Tac that would welcome you. Conveniently located near first class motels if you’re not in the mood to walk up and down the strip. See if you can find a place known for their delicious hot wings, will you?

JT

Ahhhhh, Sea-Tac. We haven’t funblogged there in sometime. Let’s all grab a skanky ‘ho and head on down for PBR, riblets, and STD’s. If you’re going down there already, send an invitation to WTFWJTD@gmail.com. Or just a picture of you going down there already.