WTFWJTD,

I have a problem and I am hoping you might be able to help me. I am addicted to the TV show “Hoarders”. I’m ashamed to say this, but, I love to see all the shit piled up in those people’s houses. I actually squeal in delight when I see mouse droppings in the cabinets. Instead of being revolted, I find myself yelling things at the TV, like “Oh! Petrified kitty! FTW!!” or texting my friends and saying “Every time you see feces, DRINK!”

Why on earth would I (or anyone, really) ENJOY watching this show??? Am I mentally ill?

Trash Addict

Dear Trash,

Yes, you are mentally ill.  But in my line of work I see a lot of that, so you’re in good company. In fact, pretty much everyone who has written in is seriously disturbed, some more than others. You should see the questions I’ve asked myself and rejected. Someone should be called. I wish I would stop, but I’m stubborn that way. I’ve always been curious about human behavior, and I’ve heard to be a good writer, you should write what you know.

On to your problems. One of two things is occurring. You’re either identifying with the hoarders and taking comfort in not being alone. The screaming and texting and drinking and urges to eat, being symptomatic of you crying out for help and attention from your friends and loved ones.

Or, you’re just a fucking bitch, who enjoys the misery of others in order to feel more in control of your own life.

Either way, I don’t really want anything to do with you. The first would be entirely too much work and as for the latter, I already have enough fucking bitches in my life. Until one rotates out, you’re on your own to revel in your superiority.

JT

What the fuck is wrong with you? No, specifically Y-O-U, in that totally Canadian Snuggie? What is WRONG with YOU? Tell JT at wtfwjtd@gmail.com.